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HE WHO GETS SLAPPED
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A monologue from the play by Leonid Andreyev
adapted for the stage by Walter Wykes
download the complete text of this play
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Copyright © 2007 by Walter Wykes
CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that He Who Gets Slapped is subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including professional and amateur stage performing, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound taping, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved.
Inquiries concerning all rights should be addressed to the author at sandmaster@aol.com
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MANCINI: You should see her. Little temptress. Black hair. Eyes as dark as night. And her smile! So … bewitching! Like the devil’s bride! Like Eve, holding the apple! Her eyes sparkling! Just daring you! Laughing! Begging you to take a bite! Promising untold pleasures if you just have the courage to grasp it—to take her in your arms! How can a man be expected to resist such temptation?! [Pause.] You’re the only one who understands me, HE. Why don’t I like things which aren’t forbidden? Why should I always, even at the moment of ecstasy, be reminded of some stupid law?! This passion, I’m telling you, it’ll turn my hair gray and lead me to the grave—or prison. [Pause.] Is it really my fault if she’s a few years younger than the law allows? I mean, how was I to know? Eh? Besides, it’s only our society, you know, that makes it such a crime. In the old days, it was quite normal. It was expected. Everybody did it. Mary and Joseph even. She was only thirteen, you know. Nobody judges them. And you can’t tell me she didn’t know exactly what she was doing! This girl—not the virgin mother. I didn’t teach her anything, if you know what I mean. But her parents don’t see it that way. And they know they’ve got me by the throat. [Pause.] I can’t go to jail, HE. I wouldn’t last a month. I’m an intellectual—a man of refinement. The jails in this country … they don’t discriminate between men of my kind and real criminals. They’d eat me alive.
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